2018-02-07 Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A guide to recognition and recovery

Kenneth Garrett, DMin, Pastor, Grace Church, Portland, Oregon, completed a dissertation for Western Seminary in Portland in April 2017. The dissertation is entitled, Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery. SAR has linked to this interesting dissertation on SAR’s research page: http://www.spiritualabuseresources.com/research Pasted below are the abstract and table of contents to give you an idea of the scope of this work.

February 7 2018

Abstract

The theme of this project is spiritual abuse. For this project, spiritual abuse is defined as the use of deception, manipulation, and undue influence by a pastor or leader over a member of a church or Christian organization in order to appropriate the member’s material, physical, or emotional resources. The purpose of this study is to introduce the reader to the existence, characteristics, and leaders of spiritually abusive churches. Select biblical examples of spiritual abuse, Christian and secular academic sources, and a description of the basic personality types of spiritually abusive pastors, their churches, and their victims are presented. A description of both healthy churches and healthy pastors is provided, along with suggestions for how churches and pastors can prepare themselves to effectively care for survivors of spiritual abuse. The appendix includes an exegetical sermon on spiritual abuse from the book of Jude. An extended bibliographical list is provided for further reading on the subject of spiritual abuse, thought reform, and the development of a healthy pastoral theology relating to the care of spiritual abuse survivors.

Table of Contents

List of Abbreviations .............................................................................................ix

Abstract ............................................................................................................... x

Prologue: A House of Mirrors ............................................................................... 1

Introduction .......................................................................................................... 6

Research Methodology ........................................................................................ 7

Overview of the Project ................................................................................8

Definitions ..................................................................................................11

Assumptions ...............................................................................................13

Limitations ..................................................................................................14

Importance of the Project ...........................................................................15

Summary ....................................................................................................15

Chapter 1 - Cults and Churches . . . ................................................................... 17

Cults in America ........................................................................................ 17

What Shall We Call a Church That Hurts People? .....................................24

Chapter 2 - Spiritual Abuse in the Bible .............................................................. 30

Examples of Spiritual Abuse from the Old Testament ................................30

Examples of Spiritual Abuse from the New Testament ...............................36

Chapter 3 - The Psyche and Speech of the Abusive LEADER ........................... 50

The Psyche of the Abusive Pastor ............................................................. 52

The Speech of the Abusive Pastor ............................................................ 57

Chapter 4 - The Members of the Spiritually Abusive Church .............................. 63

Who would ever join an abusive church?! .................................................. 63

Me, the Totalist ........................................................................................... 65

Chapter 5 - Eight Indicators of Churches that Abuse .......................................... 77

Deception: What is received is not what was promised .............................. 78

Loss: The abusive church demands more, of everything ............................ 85

Isolation: The abusive church separates members from family and friends .91

Elitism: The prevailing notion of superiority ................................................. 96

Group-speak: The unique language of each abusive church .................... 100

Fear: Dread of failing to please the abusive leaders ..................................105

Disclosure: Confession as a church requirement ...................................... 108

Trauma: Leaving is painful and costly ....................................................... 115

Chapter 6 - Why do people leave Abusive Churches? ....................................... 125

Time Away from the Church .......................................................................126

Unsanctioned Friendships ......................................................................... 129

Discovery of Ideological Shortcomings ...................................................... 131

Disillusionment with Leaders ..................................................................... 133

What Happened?! ...................................................................................... 136

Chapter 7 - When the Walking Wounded Walk into our Churches ..................... 139

Re-entry Wounds ....................................................................................... 142

Psychological Wounds ............................................................................... 145

Spiritual Wounds ........................................................................................ 154

Marriage Wounds ....................................................................................... 155

Parenting Wounds ...................................................................................... 157

Economic Wounds ...................................................................................... 161

Educational and Professional Wounds ....................................................... 161

Chapter 8 - Safe Pastors, Safe Churches ............................................................164

The Pastor as a Safe Shepherd ................................................................. 164

Safe Churches are Honest ......................................................................... 178

Chapter 9 - Putting It All Together .......................................................................189

For Friends and Family .............................................................................. 190

For Church Members ................................................................................. 194

For Pastors and Church Leaders ............................................................... 197

Epilogue: Healing...not yet healed ...............................................................200

Appendix ..............................................................................................................203

Sample Exegetical sermon: Jude .........................................................................203

Exegetical Study of Jude—Facing Off with Spiritual Abusers ..................... 203

The Fingerprints of Spiritual Abusers, 1-4 ................................................... 204

The Ancestors of Abusive Religious Leaders, 5-7 ....................................... 208

The False Teacher’s Rejection of Spiritual Authority, 8-9 ........................... 213

The Self-Destructiveness of the False Teacher, 10 .................................... 215

Woe to Three Types of Wolves, 11 ............................................................. 217

Five Snapshots of the Abusive Leader, 12-13 ............................................. 220

The Certain Judgment of the False Teacher, 14-15 .................................... 223

The Speech of the False Teacher, 16 ......................................................... 225

Healing From Spiritual Abuse, 17-25 .......................................................... 227

Bibliography ..........................................................................................................235